I have a problem with putting things off. I mean, I don’t have a problem putting things off – I’m actually really good at it. But then the things don’t get done, and undone things have a way of causing trouble and disappointment and making you hate the part of yourself that keeps on not doing them.
So I think I need to figure out why I do it, and then how to stop. I think these three things play into my continuing idiocy of procrastination:
1. I’m a perfectionist. I want everything I work on to be amazing, and so (especially for creative projects) I’ll just wait to start it until I ‘feel inspired,’ which can take a while. I’ve found the best way to be inspired is to wait until after the project should be done, then do it in a rush, wondering why I hadn’t just done it sooner. Makes for some good work, but not as good as it could have been.
2. Some tasks are scary. Some things take courage to do, like getting around to paying that parking ticket or (apparently) calling to update your health card information. It’s easier to just keep pushing it to the outskirts of my mind so it only weighs me down a little for weeks or months, instead of giving it my full attention for five minutes so I can deal with it.
3. Some tasks are difficult/complicated. Why should I put the paper IN the binder when I can just add it to the pile that’s on TOP? Why should I do something more than take the broken handle off the drawer? You mean some people would have gone to the store, bought a new handle, and replaced it already?! Who are these superhumans?
I don’t know how to fix this problem. Sometimes I’ll feel super inspired and productive, typically when I’m at work, then I’ll come home and just crash. There is so much I want to do and write and create and shoot and talk about – I can’t waste any time!
And yet, that’s the stupid battle I keep fighting. This isn’t something I’m okay with living with for the rest of my life. I don’t just want to cut it off, I want to dig a giant hole in my psyche and rip this thing out by the roots. (If you got a violent mental image of someone hacking at a stubborn weed with a sharp shovel, you’ve nailed my sentiment about this.)