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Late night thoughts

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I’m doing the night owl thing again. It’s almost 1 am (and probably will be much later by the time I post) and I’m not sleepy. Maybe I will be soon. It’s really not all that late.

But there are a million thoughts on my mind. All the things I want to do are weighing me down, like boxes that need to be opened and explored. I’m carrying dozens of them, and they’re all heavy, but I can’t open them all at once. And I need specific tools to open some of them. Others require tools I haven’t even heard of and don’t know how to find or use.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up, but sometimes life seems overwhelming, and even more so lately because I’ve started to realize how short it really is. I just feel the days ticking away, every one a gift I can’t ever get back, and my mind is screaming, DON’T WASTE TIME!

But I don’t know what I want to do. I’m stuck. Because here’s the thing about life.

It’s not a maze or a mess, like some people say. It is nothing more than a series of crossroads. With every choice you make, you take a few steps down that road and then are presented with another crossroad, another chance to choose left or right. But here’s the terrifying thing: for every time you choose to go left instead of right, you’re not just saying no to the path on your right. Oh no, you’re saying not to that one, and to the dozens, if not hundreds, of options that path would have eventually presented you with. So that’s why you need to take your decisions seriously, and why I’m absolutely terrified to do the wrong thing. Choices like taking a job or who you decide to be with are incredibly weighty. Their future options are almost unlimited.

Sorry if that’s a little deep for daytime hours. But the term ‘analysis paralysis’ doesn’t quite cover WHY people might struggle to make a move.

How have you helped yourself deal with the stress of life decisions, or of knowing what you want in life?


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