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How not to ask a girl out

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This happened to me at the beginning of July, and I was too in a fog to think of sharing it, but it popped into my head again and I thought you might be amused.

Spoiler: the biggest takeaways from this story are 1) learn to take a hint, and 2) don’t be creepy. And bonus, #3 is LISTEN.

On Canada Day I was serving at the pub I work at on the weekends. It was a a busy day, and the crowd was kind of grumpy. Some people were okay but most seemed in a rush. Then I got this table with three younger guys, probably around 20 or 22. Probably worth it to mention, too, that this was a week and a half after Louis and I broke up.

I brought them a round of drinks, then came around for their next order. Brackets include things I didn’t say aloud (but maybe should have).

Guy: I’d like another beer, and your phone number.
Me: (laughs uncomfortably) The same kind of beer?
Him: Yeah. But seriously. Can I have your number?
Me: I’m flattered, but no.
Him: Your eyes are just amazing. I can get lost in them.
Me: I just got out of a relationship. I’m not in that place at all. (And I wouldn’t date you even if I was.)
Him: It’s okay, I’m not looking for anything serious.
Me: (You just want a friend with benefits. Or maybe not the friend, just the benefits.)
Him: We can just go for dinner, go to a movie, whatever.
Me: (So, we could do exactly the same thing you would have suggested if I hadn’t said that? Hooray, flexibility.) Sorry, but no. I’m not even close to being in that place.
Him: Alright, that’s cool. I’ll just come back in a month or two. [Laughs to pretend like he’s kidding.]
Me: (Please don’t do that.) [Backs away slowly and goes to get drinks.]
Guy’s friend as I walk away: Don’t make her get another job …

The most maddening part of the whole thing was his assumption that because he was into me (or my eyes?), I was automatically into him. Which was a totally wrong assumption.

He didn’t say, “I’d like to get to know you better, would you be okay with it?” He tacked his request onto his drink order (which was his pickup line, I guess, so that’s fine), and failed to hear anything I said after that. LISTEN TO THE PERSON YOU’RE TRYING TO ASK OUT, YOU IDIOT!

Later he reiterated how amazing my eyes are.

These blue ey

Back off, people, you might get lost in these suckers!


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